China…. What am I to say? Very big country, every province, every city differs greatly. I am in Sichuan, Cheng Du. Yah, that city famous for their oily spicy cuisine, so spicy that it numbs the tongue! yes.. 3rd largest city in China, growth rate is quite amazing but of course not as advanced and sophisticated like ShangHai.
The weather is bad. Very polluted, very humid but yet it doesn’t rain. So u feel sticky all the time. There’s never one day would you see the clear blue sky. Cheng Du is at the bottom of a valley thus there’s always a depression hence, smog get trapped in its upper atmosphere. will get sick. moreover, it's summer...
The people? They speak their local dialect, which apparently I don’t understand a single word. Well, my Mandarin is bad enough to begin with. I can speak but need to think for a long while, though I can understand perfectly what people are saying. Thus… over here… I don’t have friends, there’s only a few staff I can talk to, but of course, how much can I share with them?
The men here…. Very crude. Spit everywhere, anywhere. Very loud. They behave like unreasonable tyrants so long as they have a few dollars in their pocket. bribery still exists.
The women here…. Many are kept mistresses. Pretty? Yes, sure are. Soft fair skin; otherwise, bitchy and crude. Marriage to them is just a game, divorce is another ticket to more money.
China people in my impression, talks about money all the time. it's the omnipotent object in their life, they're obsessed with it. open mouth-close mouth, the conversation doesn't depart from cars, material riches, condomuniums, expensive clothes and overseas vacation. better still of can find/fuck a caucasian guy... very alot of 'face'...
Tell me that there’s something wrong with Confucian’s teachings and the infamous 5000 years of Chinese civilization. seemingly from my point of view, they are heading for a moral / social crisis unknowingly. unscrupulous means to make quick bucks? plenty of examples. singapore.... on higher moral grounds really. jus a bit too closed-up in the political sense.
My work? Sigh…. Restaurant business is quite slow. So, after coming to the restaurant to manage it during lunch hour, my afternoons are spent accompany my Dad’s girlfriend to go shopping, gym, swim or cat nap at home. Start work again at 6-11.30pm. repeat this routine everyday for one month. Mundane. No new deals in terms of coffee machine sales so i don’t have to train any baristas for now. Coffee culture would only pick up and blossom in another 2 years, though the awareness level is rising slowly. Give it time to grow but if enter the market then, is too late.
What else? I miss my grandma. I miss my home. I miss my entire life back in Singapore! Watching movies, coffee-ing, clubbing at Zouk… where’s my life?!?!?! *grumbles insanely and sits in one corner and sulk* I don’t even have English news here, I don’t know what’s going on in Iraq and the rest of the world. Can anyone just kindly update me??? I don’t wanna be left out!!!
my laptop
Ahh…. The magnifence of technology!!! (I brought my laptop along to China and charged up its battery after one-yr of leaving it somewhere in the drawer). Finally I am free to update my blog (considering that there ARE people reading my senseless rant about someone, something, somewhere… so let me bitch!!!) here I am, 5pm sitting in the restaurant watching people clean up n getting ready for business while I recollect about the past few days events.
Firstly, before moving on to events (look at article titled China), there are a few people I miss so badly… (Surprisingly, I DO miss NUS. I DO miss lectures and tutorials n of course, the all-time-favorite hang-on corner: Central Library!!!) Hnece, this short “I’m Thinking Of You” message goes out to those whom I am missing badly, should they be reading it.
Dear Michele:
Yes girl, I DO miss you a lot. Well, nothing beats spending the afternoon with you, walking around Taka, drinking coffee, eating ice-cream in the outdoors while people-watch, chatting about everything under the sun with my best friend, laughing about some poor guy’s misfortune or weeping about some sad pet’s death. (haha! As if we ever had a pet! Ermmm… boyfriend not counted!) and please, change the title of Spinster Club to Flingster Club!!! Committed relationships are not cool!!! (gee… many people would beg to differ but who can deny that relationships ARE difficult?!)
Dear Jared:
Please be happy again. Go club, go fishing, go do something u enjoy. I am really scared to see you upset. Sitting there toiling time and awaiting enlistment isn’t a cool thing. Make the best of every moment! What about the loads-of-shit in your life??? Nothing is impossible to solve so good luck in problem solving!!! Hugs and kisses!!! Oh, I am very sure one day (soon enough), you will be able to love a sweet intelligent kind girl wholeheartedly again, as long as she has that X-factor to capture you attention. Your heart is not paralyzed, your life is colorful and beautiful as long as you open up you heart and ‘feel’ the wonders of life.
Dear Joshua:
I really can’t wait to see you in Bangkok in another 21 days or so!!! Hugs and kisses!!! It’s really surprising how we broke the ice that night, it was… just so sweet. Thank you for being that warm supporting shoulder while I am away in a foreign land… your daily sms and emails never fail to bring a cheerful smile upon my listless face. I miss you sweetie… somehow… you never fail to understand to what I am feeling deep inside… thank you once again.
Dear Benny:
Good luck for the upcoming La Selle exhibition! Hope u get head-hunted! Must take more photos and send to me ok? I’ll really love to be involved in your work and life! It’s so interesting! Also, all the best in your new job, perform and shine k! Melbourne trip would always be a goal waiting to be realized, close to our hearts. I can’t wait to have another wine session with you by the beach under the stars! Jus the 2 of us… enjoy the golden silence…
Dear Benson:
Yo brother! How’s life? Train hard and build up those strong 8-sexy abs! So, your major declaration settled already not? Can’t wait to lunch with u at arts canteen again, have a smoke and skip lessons (if it is boring that is) remember the times we have coffee and chill out at 6th Avenue? I really miss those times, I miss just being with you and talk about everything under the stars, listen to mp3, and be ourselves. I don’t care! I still want my Venezia gelato when I get back k? clubbing with you is really fun too… =)
men
i was in the car today. as usual... my mind wonders off into 'ponder'-mode, with the trail of the bustling street scenery, hoards of people, heavy flow of cyclists.. (not that there's anything much to see).
the hypothethical question: are all men (male/female alike) superficial???
let us be true to ourselves. are we attracted to good looking people? or more pointedly, SEXY ones. yes, the hot studs and the voluptous babes.
in other words, are we attracted to the opposite sex in the easy terms of sexuality? i'm really curious.
let's say.... u have 4 guys in front of you. they're all equal in terms of education, finances and all have very smooth rich character. now... you've seen them few times. independently of course.
one of them really attracts you. you don't know why... but there is just something about him... he eludes the every magical atomic essense of 'SEXY' with his every smile, every movement, every word. the moment u see him, all you can ever think of is enjoying a nite of arabian sex with him, making love under the stars by the beachside villa, with the windows open wide, and the seabreeze blowing in... the moment u open your eyes, all you yearn for is to be cuddled by him.... when you shower, all you can conjure in thin air is that he is right there beside you, to caress you, to kiss you naked while the shower runs freely...
so... my question here is: are men all driven by their hormones and chemicals? attracted to each other by pure physical attraction? (assuming that ll other tangible qualifications are held equal)
whatever you want
Benny lent me this game book, called 'Whatever You Want'.
it involves making intelligent yet occasional bastard/bitch-like decision making skills to ensure self-survival in an dog-eat-dog imaginary Freudian world; eliminate ur ex-gf/gfs from 'i'm sorry, pls come back' eligible list. try to bed a rich nubile yet brainless babe before her party starts/or least bed as many different girls/guys per weekend. buy a Ducanti 990 because it's a chic-magnet. disappear out of the window after a one-night-stand without wanting to know the partner's name due to the harsh realization that Coyote Ugly has been committed and u jus need to escape before u puke out ur internals right smack before that hideous thing... yes... a complete satire of our glitzy, glamarous yuppie society, alluring our desires with attractions and distractions of the material luxuries and the beautiful opposite sexes alike...
recalling what Joshua said to me in his car that nite after supper... his very words rings a million familiar tinkles like wind breezing through the wind-chime carved out of my hollow paralyzed heart. it is the same old confusion that i face every waking moment after 21 March...
1) should i return to what i have alwiz been doing before 28Nov'03? that is to remain single and enjoy my fair share of fun, laughter, peace, and joy? just date as many guys as i want, indulge in activities i enjoy, go on vacation to wherever i want anytime i feel like it? flirt abundantly, bed any guy i desire, fling around like a butterfly... without a single ounce of committment to anyone or anything. (ok, studies not included in tis i-am-irresponsible list) the above would so nicely shield me from any further emotional hurt and recurring events of stabbing and scarring. i had enough in the past one year.... really... i'm simply exhausted... i'm emotionally drained. disillusioned is the right adjective to apply here. disappointed is the permanent state of heart. flings are fun. and they don't bite. plain dating/kissing/making out is harmless.... so long one doesn't invest any tinge of emotions/feelings/. *i'm sure Josh understands this section well*
2) should i jus give relationship/love/men another deserving chance to redeem themselves? bitten too many times, trusted too much, given them too much too lovingly, forgiving them too easily.... all these gracious acts done seem in vain. there is already no more reason i can give myself,to convince myself that yes, i should give this guy a chance, to give myself a chance as well to love him wholeheartedly, and put in my 100% efforts to make it the best experiences, or at least, good while it lasted. to be serious with him, keep the long terms goals in view, be committed to him, and specially reserved my heart, body and soul only for his indulgence. thus, making him the unique one in my eyes, the sweet candy of my heart, the fulfilling one in my bed...
3) don't think too much about it, treat this chaotic world and its ill-defects with oblivion, retreat into recluse. be happy with what i have now. count my blessings. thank God for His gifts. be happy with the one whom i share my thoughts with. be happy with the one who understands me most. afterall, isn't a relationship as aptly defined by Jared as "a state of coexistence where the 2 parties are nothing but happy together. they don't have to do much, so long they know their limits. they don't have to meet everyday or even every week, or say I LOVE YOU every nite, coz some things are better felt when not said in words"
til now... after 3 months after 21 March... i still ponder over the 3 choices while i brush my teeth in the morning... i still face the temptations of choice (1) every time i club... i refuse to acknowledge the possibilities of choice (2) whenever someone is serious about me *i'll probably ask him to go fly his kite* and therefore... submit myself, resigning to the card of fate aka choice (3) by the time i wash my face..... and pray religiously to God above, that He would guide me with bright light and wisdom, intertwining choice (4) into my life in due.....
surely, i will have my answer one day.... i would have made a wise choice and not regret *i have never regretted loving those who hurt me anyway. there's no point being upset and bitter about it. just be more cautious the next time round* but for now.... i would practice Joshua's words,"Live for the moment". (this doesn't mean that i am being irresponsible to anybody either. no intentions to hurt anyone. no intentions to love anyone) let the spins of the Earth and the change of seasons warm our hearts, may we find understanding and faithful love as blessed by God at our own time.
mich thinks young punk is good influence
i can't believe it!!!! Jared told me to stop being childish and stop being stubborn and go China to work for my Dad, simply coz he needs my help there.
gosh!!!! he called me childish and stubborn???? normally he very sweet to me onez...... whatever..... me childish and stubborn???? but he's also the same.....
he's also short tempered but cools down easily..... i like being wilful!!! i like being pampered!!! i don't wanna grow up yet!!!
fine.... i know he puts up with alot of things i do. things which he don't think i should do. thanks for the great tolerance and understanding.
there's alot of things he doens't say it out, he feels i should be old enough to know my limits. but guess what?!?!? i may not be that matured...!!!! i stil wanna play!!!
why can't everyone let me throw my tantrum, yell all i want... let me win, let me have things my way????? Jared even said tt, every time he quarrels with his parents, i will advice him to be sweet, persuade him talk to them nicely, don't flare up.
he asked me why can't i do the same????
coz i just don't want to do it!!!!!! =x
rise to fame
i was jus bathing ten mins ago, washing my hair. i have this habit, i like to summarize my day while i shower under the cascade of water and recap the day's events.
suddenly, i thought of Jared. (so sweet right?)
today, he was kinda unhappy with me with regards to something i did last nite.
he felt that my priorities were wrong. so kinda ignored me for the morning.
so.... tis afternoon, i nicely sa-jiao to him a bit over sms...
muz make him happy right? *cuddle*
heee... he is so adorable!!! pardon me if i am wrong, but he is quick to anger, but also quick to be appeased once i apologized to him, and admitted my faults.
i feel that.... it's a very sweet understanding gesture.
Jared, dun say that i don't do anything when u're angry already k???
this time i gave in to you k??? =P
thou last time when u're angry.... i will ignore u...
heck care about u, let u flare first then see how to deal with you...
then.... as i dry my hair... i recalled 2 weeks ago... we went to zouk together.
hmmm... it's the first time in years since i had Ice-Cream Soda.
yes, the canned ones from F&N. blue can. Jared offered me that.
very sweet and ice-cold. it was so delicious!!!!
my.... so heavenly taste and bubbly texture.... so... 'Jared'.. so 'worry-less'!
nex time at my wedding, i'm jus gonna offer Ice Cream Soda or Vanilla Coke!
but it was very sweet.... to just sit with him by the Singapore River behind Zouk...
enjoy our sodas... dribble in the alcohol and get heated up to party... nice.
priorities
everyone has their own life, own social circle, own activities, own career, own goals.
time is so limited. is it ever enough to go around?
to be split between work, family, play and self-enrichment.
Life itself is vibrantly colorful.
Friendship makes the world turn faster.
Love adds in the finishing highlights.
when 2 people have special feelings for each other, they get together as a couple.
but that doesn't mean that their lives are fused together into one single unit.
ultimately, they still remain as 2 distinct individuals.
don't say that your other-half has prioritized her friends and her own fun above you.
don't say that she controls your every movement and breaks those self-laid rules.
don't say that why there's still other guys courting her when she is attached.
because simply, you know that she is yours anytime, anywhere.
as long as u call her, tell her you miss her, tell her you wanna see her.
she will be there.
girls are vulnerable but they are faithful if you protectively love them.
because she loves you, that's why she says you should not do some things that will harm youself. similarly, if you love her, set some simple rules to guide her.
if you insist in letting her do whatever she wants, then, you will face unhappiness because she might end up doing things you feel are not right. learn to fly the kite.
because she is sweet, easy going and friendly that's why people still court her despite her being attached. shows that she still has market value =P
touche
last nite.... i witnessed what is 'generousity'.
i don't mean that he is so willing to share the girl he is intrested in.
but, he openly accepts who his competitor is, and yet, doesn't slay his name.
he graciously acknowledges his opponent's strong and weak points.
he tries to enter his competitor's psyche and figure his thoughts.
he tries to analyse his opponent's mind.
*but is there a competitor in the 1st place? or to that other guy, tis girl is jus a another pawn in the game of love?*
to me.... what he did was not just courageous,
after making known his intentions to the girl.
but to accept your rival in love... takes a lot more grace and effort.
instead of taking a step back and withdrawing from the courting of the maiden,
he steps forward to take a bow and draw his sword, to spar with skills and understanding.
i am indeed very impressed.
if it were to me, i wondeer how i will take it.
maybe just die of jealousy???
i can accept my darling going out with other girls, clubbing with other girls,
BUT..... just inform me about it. don't let me find out. i trust him though.
i don't like competition in love. if he is yours, he will be. so don't play bitch.
i don't enjoy seeing the guy i like dating someone else. i wil go sour in the face.
i don't like to choose among guys. it's a hard choice.
i prefer juggling my oranges in mid air, watch the world pass by.
i don't like to see guys choose among girls too. often, it is jus one. focus.
i don't seek for attention, but i don't like my boyfriend to neglect/ignore me.
i like to be.... pampered and loved, but not be obsessively possessed by someone.
relationships... i'm very sceptical about them.
when u've been through alot of nonsense, u just wanna sit back relax and say "whatever".
last nite was quite ok.
sit at a void deck at holland village.... perspiring away in the mid summer's nite.
take sips of ice-cold beer made of champagne yeast. sweet stuff.
chat with Benny and shared alot of personal past....
age 26 so he's been through toughies too. *unlike Jared... stil can afford to play*
the product designs he did for Dulux paint was really creative!!! cheers to his career!!
i do hope the comsumers get the message sent across though...
while i lay in bed, i reminisce upon the enjoyable times i had tis holidays.....
alone with Benson. just the both of us. sometimes with the pol sci gang.
have prata dinner at Fong Seng after last paper, chill out at 6th Ave Coffee Bean,
chat on phone just before we sleep, walk along Orchard boulevard.
sometimes... silence is golden. just cherish the company. let time stand still.
sometimes... put one's strong pride down, and everything ahead will be clearer.
valium
my darling Baby Jared took valium to sleep tonite.
darn. i really dun advise taking valium.
it's a god-damn anti-depressent. reminds me of Don Tan and History and stressful NUS....
not that i never took it before..... but.....
1) i don't think Jared is suffering from depression. it's just INSOMNIA.
2) he doesn't know the dosage. he took it from his Dad's pills.
i think he's crazy.......
u won't die taking 0.5/1 pill. neither will u go brain dead.
but....
1) u will feel like u're in heaven. lose all senses.
2) u won't know what time u will wake up. bloody hell.... alarm clock ring till spoil, u will still sleep like an ass....
i don't know what's troubling him. he says he is fine. (self denial????)
damn.... let me see him the next time and i am gonna take him to the psychiatrist.
or least.... the G.P. they don't some cheap, but i am not gonna let him kill himself.
i don't know why he doesn't share his unhappiness with me....
i guessing he is troubled about $$$. his Mum cut his allowances entirely.
otherwise, NS anxiety???? cannot be.... tt young punk can't be bothered.
can't be girl-problems too.... he has plenty of babes around him...
abt tt special one.... he like also heck-care her existence. anyway, she's fine.
he is not well informed abt medicine. what the hell?!?!?!
valium is the mildest form of sleeping pills??!?!?! tell him to wake up his idea!!!
urgh..... i'm worried. i hope he knows what he is doing, and that i care.
neither is it a bright idea to take a lift in your fren's car after they went drinking at Zouk. bloody hell!!! those 18-19 yr old idiots are P-plate drivers!!!
they fucking got their license less than 3-6mths ago!!!
can't even handle the car properly, no experience and they wanna drive fast and drink?!?!?
fucking hell would get urself killed!!!!
die already still never mind. will visit ur grave once a year.
if brain dead or paralysed??? how???
bloody hell become a damn expensive liability towards your parents.
think about it.
*pardon for the many 'bloody-hell' and 'f-ing'*
i am really pissed about how Jared runs his life, though i am in no position to comment.
coz afterall, it is HIS life. not mine. so i shan't control how he wants to live.
for a happier, more polite blog to view.... try the other works of mine.
birthday cake
hmmm... why do we have birthday cakes for birthday? have u ever wondered that?
Black-Forest, New York Cheese, Tiramisu, Chocolate Truffle. the divine works of art.
tt delights your taste buds with its cold sweet tingling sensation.
decorate it with "Happy Birthday so-&so"
i think for children, they come in cute colorful pictures, right?
lit up a few candles. 1 big candle represents 10 years of age. 1 small candle represents 1 year of age. kids get their numbers in shapes of clowns (thinks Jared).
*how many did you have for your birthday this year?*
i don't know what's my fascination with birthday cakes...
i feel joyful whenever i see a birthday cake.
ermm... be it mine or someone else's birthday.
when the candles are lit, they look so heart-warming. add in the fact that they'll probably taste good. makes you happy right?
every birthday, the thing that i look forward to is not the presents or the big feast.
it's the cake. hidden in a box, tied up with a fancy silver ribbon.
i can only see which cafe this cake came from. but not its flavour.
then, i'll keep walking to the fridge to take a peek at the cake,
but it's hard to see what it is, without opening it, or least, damage it while it's in its box.
that's the exciting part. guessing the flavour!!! imagining the decorative design!!!
kinda cliched this sounds... like in Forest Gump, his mother said that "life is just like a box of chocolates. you don't know what you're gonna get, but you know it's gonna be good".
alot of things in life are the same case.... a new school, a new class, a new group of frens, a new sport to take up, a new job, a new workplace....
opportunities come in wrapped boxes. it's just gonna be good. really.
just what you make out of it.
why do i have such attachments to birthday cakes?
no.... not the stereotyped myth that girls like to sweet cold desserts.
no.... neither am i a cake-freak.
(admittedly, yes, one slice of marble Cheese with a pot of Earl Grey tea is satisfying)
it's more so... that nostalgia attached to the birthday cake.
it reminds me of childhood. those forgotten days of the past.
when we were kids, birthday cakes held a great significance,
only get them once a year, right, on your annual birthday.
then, birthday cakes from cafe was not cheap either.
my parents always made that special trip to buy me a cake from Jack's Place,
and without my acknowledgement! that's a very heartwarming gesture.
parents doing everything they can to please their precious sweethearts.
comparing it to today.... cakes come easy.
anytime we wanna eat one, just go to Cedele, Baker's Inn or NYDC.
sit and order. eat and be happy.
but.... such consumerism doesn't generate any satisfaction in me.
the cake has lost its significance of being the highlighted once-a-year specialty...
i no longer enjoy and treasure my cake as much as i did when i was young.
is it bacause i have grown up, or is it because life has become richer?
my cake is no longer special....
give me a choice, i will want to go back to my childhood days where cakes made me really overjoyed.
haagen daaz
sometimes i wonder if i'm easily satisfied....
it only takes a Haagen Daaz cone to brighten up my day and make me smile with content.
but i am happy with the way i am. to be easily pleased.
life is much more fun that way, to find thrills in little frills.
the enjoyment of Macadamia Nuts, and Strawberry ice cream is so comforting.
the rich smooth velvety texture is so pleasing to the senses...
the crunchy cone provides some bite to that cool divine experience.
happiness is not what u seek, but what u cherish out of what u have.
dark semi-sweet chocolates and cold ice cream makes me happy.
sitting in the park, listening to the radio,
under the clear blue skies, enjoying my ice cream,
looking at the kids play at the playground, watch couples jog past,
play with the friendly golden retriever. see parents fly kites with their kids.
that makes me happy.
fri nite
it's been a great evening.
it's been quite some time since i enjoyed such great company.
was at pasir ris beach with Benny, having red wines, cheese cubes, Ritz racker n chocolates. under the stars, with the seabreeze gently blowing caressing our faces.
the wine was good. especially the 1996 Italian.
the spicy finish was exotic. the smokey-hint was subtle. the full-body was fulfiling.
the talk revolved over fine arts, our career prospects, personal life. his graduation exhibition. our friends. difference between life in Uni n life at La Selle Art Acad.
jus chilling out simply over intelligent conversations.
to me.... intelligent, opinionated, confident conversations are the sexiest.
looks are very secondary. i'll give a Himbo a run for his money.... anytime...
the walk along the beach was special.. i can't remember when was the last time when i walked on the beach barefooted. to feel the soft sand beneath my feet, touch the water with my toes, peek into the dark crab holes during low tides, watch the malay encik cast his fishing rods, look at the johor industrial estate with awe, marvel the stars, satellites and planes.
looking at the young yeenage couples frolicking on the benches makes me wonder where did the fun in my sec sch days go. i never liked having chalets.
looking at the malay families pitching their tents, zzzing in the open, having 24/7 BBQs, strumming their guitars, and playing with their bicycles was... a different realization. i'm envious of how the malays enjoy their lives, here in urban singapore.
they are contented. contented. it's so.... kampung ambience.
they never asked for much, as long as they have enough to spend, to eat and send their kids to school. they knew how to take time out and enjoy the moment, enjoy nature with their families. it never mattered to them riches, social status, and high education.
well, that's what i assume to be the case, but really... very different from the chinese families.... who make their kids mug like hell, compare their kids with those of other friends and relatives, compare who goes a further destination for vacations without appreciating the destinations and their history. superficial.
then, some teenagers came along to spoil our evening.
we left our snacks on our table n left for the toilet together. when we returned, the final glass of wine was gone, the cheese was all over, flattened n carved into... some creative designs... my chocolate was gone! dried fruits became confetti strewn all over the floor. there sat 4 chinese sec sch students on our benches....
guess what? Benny n i decided to have some 'fun' with them....
Benny asked them for their names, sec schs, age, asked what they were trying to do and got rid of them, asked which chalet unit they were from, whose name was the unit under.
he posed as an army officer using his old reservist IC and being firm with them.
me? i went up to them, asked for their ID, asked them for their schs.
posed as a sec sch teacher, blocked their way, had one of them falling off the bench,
asked them what they did to my chocolates and lamented how they spoilt my evening.
no, i didn't preach. but i scared them with stories of chocolates laced with biological germs and threats of terrorism..... and how some chemicals can corrode internal organs when mixed with hydrochloric acid and water ions in the stomach..... hahahaha.... so much for my chemistry. and they bought my story!
they obediently told me their schools, and pleaded with me not to call up their schools.
they also admitted to me that they have girls in their chalet, from the school i was supposedly to be teaching at. heh heh... i advised them to be careful and not get into trouble with the law of underage sex.
i told them that teachers also needed a holiday, i can't be bothered with them.
they asked what time we were going to leave, Benny n i asked why. they wanted to buy us another bar of chocolate. of course, we told them it's ok, have fun, enjoy themselves but be careful. that experience with them provided me with a good laugh!
i don't know why... at that very moment, i really wished that i was their teacher.
i won't preach, but i will jus let these kids learn it the hard way.
let them experiment with cigarettes, alcohol and easy-to-screw girls. they will experience the pinch in time. yet, i wil also guide them along, be their good friend, play along yet be strict in terms of moral dicipline and studies.
before we left, we went to Cheers to get some cigarettes. Benny smokes.
some kid asked us to help him buy a Bacardi Breezer.
i shot out "well, since we're helping buy it, why not get something stronger?"
the kids were taken back by my remark.... and looked really blur....
Benny said to me "let them have the Bacardi... get high once and they will learn it the hard way" i agreed. jus for their experience of knowing what is alcohol. but he was quite worried that they will use the Bacardi to drunk some girl at the chalet. but i was more than assured, and told him, whichever girl who accepts that drink asked for a lesson herself.
common sense tells u: 1. not to accept drinks easily, even it is from friends.
2. it's alcohol. girls should not be drinking it in a adult-free chalet when they have never tried alcohol before, since they will not know how they will react.
3. no one gets drunk on Bacardi Breezer!?!?
then, the kids thanked us.... "thanks uncle, thanks auntie."
gosh!!!! i freaked out n remarked, "u call me auntie without being sure of my age???!!! do i look 40yrs old to u???" the kids were like.... "eh... no. sorry, thank jie-jie"
*grumbles... n looks at entire range of skincare products wondering if they work*
HDB on a lone Fri afternoon
all alone at home now. one of the best things in life.
with no one to yell at me, disturb me, off all phones and enjoy an afternoon of solitude. away from the bustling world, away from all the urban sight and sounds, away from the noisy crowds.
as much as the quality times lasted till 14 00hrs, when i woke up.
then, dreadful things took place. while i was showering, my neighbour started to drill his walls, smash the concrete blocks, wreck the floor tiles...
all that follwed was tis deafening hum-drum of drills, whacks, knocks, thumps....
it's a bloody renovation going on!!! freak it!!! there goes my quiet afternoon!!!
u know.... sometimes, urban living gets to u... in that suffocating sense?
like a dementor.... sucking out ur sense pf peace and inner tranquility?
the congested streets, the tunnel of cars crawling like centipede...
the packed-like-sardine Orchard road at anytime of any day...
the alwiz-ringing cell-phone... and floods of sms...
i jus wanna scream out loud "leave me alone for jus awhile!!!!"
and curl up in a corner, hug my head in despair....
add in those hoards of nosy aunties who refuse to leave ur house after afternoon-tea and deafening ktv-sessions with ur grandmother....
sessions of midnight mahjong with uncles who refuse to admit defeat and bestow upon u some much needed sleep...
irritating friends who call you up at unearthly hours to sob about his latest break-up..... darn..... jus ENJOY THE SILENCE!!!
*damn tt stupid drilling..... i'm going insane in this heat....*
sometimes....i jus wish tt i can jus pack myself into a little Louis Vuitton case and send myself to some tropical island on the Pacific and rent a house on silts over-reaching to the sea.... have little sharks beneath my window n sleep naked in my room, gazing out at the twinkling stars while lying on my bed....
then again, i am realistic person (not materialistic though). so the above paragraph is nothing but a sweet thought to nourish my parched visual imagination.
anyway, back to reality at 15 50hrs, another neighbour decided to cook spicy curry and nonya dishes on a hot fri afternoon. damn.... it smells really really appetizing.... if only i could hire her as my chef... why??? coz i am having blanched green veggies n plain cold tofu for lunch with half an apple n 3 miserable slices of water melon. no, it is not a diet plan thank you....
urgh...... grumbles..... =(
tongues
why bother about what others say?
let them assume the facts, let them gossip, let the serpents forks twist the truth.
why be unhappy over what comments about ur personal life?
unless there's truth u wanna hide. thngs which u won't want others to know.
of course it is not funny to have other discussing about ur personal life.
but if that happens, take it in grace. why pursue?
live ur life the way you want it to be.
be yourself. hide behind no covers. be honest with ur heart.
laugh at ignorance and learn to be wise.
build big dreams. rise against the winds of adversities.
young punk
"you are the sunshine of my life. you have always been around" - Dion Warrick
delighted i am when i hear his voice through the telephone wire,
as i lie in bed, bringing the hectic day to a close.
sent to me, are a million angels smiling,
as butterflies form a rainbow across the blue sky.
if it is only joy which fills the air, then that is all i ask for.
seeing him before me is an image. engraved into time.
i seek to keep no memories but to fully live each moment each second.
when he leaves my sight, there is no sadness nor fear.
for trust grows with time, reflecting truth.
love is never the word, much less is fallen in love.
the simplest things in life are priceless.
knowing whose shoulder you can count on, knowing who matters to you most, knowing who to just walk with hand in hand down the boulevard without having saying much yet enjoy the utmost understanding is platinum.
Gifts
what do materials riches mean?
is it how much assets and cash one have? is it the amount of inheritance we have to our accounts? or is it living a luxurious lifestyle? then.... what do they mean to different people? right... money is important, but is it everything? or is it that today's society has inculcated in the masses its selfish materialistic values?
sadly, there are many people, whom each living their lives without a belief in the existence of a higher supernatural order, chose to cast their destiny on the creation of material accumulation. but, how fulfiled are they spiritually? i don't deny that i enjoy buying expensive things, neither am i a religiously devoted person. but, i acknowledge God and His interventions and blessings in my life, knowing that all material things i enjoy today can be confiscated tomorrow. parents can go bankrupt, houses can catch fire, planes can crash, business can fail....
every cent spent is hard earned. every cent today is tomorrow's investment. why not garner energy towards how one can improve and accumulate more skills, knowledge and experiences to reap the fortunes of tomorrow....
